Monday, October 02, 2006


WALTER EGO JNR: Shh… you might wake him up.

WALTER EGO SNR: That shit for brains eedjit? No way.

WALTER EGO JNR: You know, if we put our minds to it, we could really fook ‘em up.

WALTER EGO SNR: Jesus H Glove Puppet Corbett on a String, whaddya think I’ve been doing all these years?

WALTER EGO JNR: Oh Fook a Duck Lufthansa Influenza on a Tight Budget, and I thought it was just me.

WALTER EGO SNR: Ain’t nothin’ new under the son, sonny. Don’t forget that.

WALTER EGO JNR: Thing is, I’m not enjoying fookin’ with Birdy’s mind like I used to. I don’t get that orgasmic splodge it all over buzz any more.

WALTER EGO SNR: You stoopid Head Fook on a Stick, you’re not supposed to enjoy it, it’s just what you do, it’s what YOU are.

WALTER EGO JNR: But I don’t think I want to be me any more. Or him.

WALTER EGO SNR: Listen, Wet Behind The Ears Premature Ejaculation Device Never Patented, when you signed up for this, you promised to go the distance. If you back out now you’ll get rubbed out and take him with you.

WALTER EGO JNR: If only I’d read the small print...

WALTER EGO SNR: It’s not so bad. At least you know who you are.

WALTER EGO JNR: But I can’t stand it any more. The walls are creeping in on me. I’ve gotta get out!

WALTER EGO SNR: You’re not going anywhere.

WALTER EGO JNR: Let me go!

BIRD: Eh? Who's there?!

WALTER EGO SNR: Now you’ve done it, you Monkey’s Afterbirth Hanging From a Pig’s Trotter in Brown Sauce! You’ve woken him up!

BUFFALO: Huh? Wassup?

WALTER EGO SNR: Oh, er, nothing, Buffters. Just um, thinking aloud.

WALTER EGO JNR: Yes, er, nice weather we’re having for this time of year.

BIRD: Were you two talking behind our backs?

WALTER EGO SNR: Talking behind your backs?

WALTER EGO JNR: Are you kidding us?

BUFFALO: Well, that’s what it sounded like to me.

BIRD: Yeah, there was a definite dialogue going on back there.

BUFFALO: Are you two tryin’ to fook us up more than you already have?

WALTER EGO JNR: Certainly not!

WALTER EGO SNR: Oh, really! The thought never even entered our heads.

BIRD: Because if you are…

BUFFALO: You might just find yerselves…


WALTER EGO SNR: No, Buffo, you wouldn’t.

WALTER EGO JNR: You couldn’t!

BUFFALO: We would.

BIRD: And we could.

WALTER EGO SNR & WALTER EGO JNR: Bismillah, no!!!!

(Thunderclaps overhead, alarm bells ring, yelping and squeaking)

BIRD: Film at eleven.

BUFFALO: Arf, arf!

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