BIRD: Should be fun, this, Buffters.
BUFFALO: Let's hope so. My back is killing me. Ridin' the ol' roller-coaster, like.
BIRD: Keep it clean, Buffty. We're trying to raise our pre-watershed ratings. So... Eight thingies you didn't know about moi et toi. I'll go first. My favourite meal is bacon and eggs with mushrooms, beans and toast. And a big mug of hot piping tea.
BUFFALO: My favorite meal is lamb vindaloo curry with Tabasco sauce and a coupla cans of Guinness.
BIRD: I sleep with my socks on.
BUFFALO: I sleep belly down with my butt peeping out.
BIRD: Too much information, methinks, Buff. I always cry when I see a dog without a leg.
BUFFALO: Well, I always cry when I see my bank balance at the end of the month and wonder how I'm going to avoid abject poverty and social exclusion.
BIRD: My first love was called Debbie. She dumped me two days later when she got a new bicycle. The bicycle was pink. I hate the colour pink.
BUFFALO: My first love was called Trixie. I nearly choked to death on her pigtail when I went to kiss her on the way home from school on our first date. I was resuscitated by a passing Jehovah's Witness. Sad but true.
BIRD: When I was ten I had corrective surgery for knobbly knees. Now my hips are going wobbly.
BUFFALO: I've got more knobs than Wal-Mart. But the gals don't seem to mind.
BIRD: Buff, pliz.
BUFFALO: OK, OK.
BIRD: I faint at the sight of blood.
BUFFALO: I faint at the sight of over-sexed walruses humping on a hot summer's day.
BIRD: Oh, really!
BUFFALO: Really, dude! I was at the zoo, it was hot, and I heard this slobbering and high-pitched yakking and...
BIRD: Yes, that's quite enuff of that, thank you. I love tunnels. I think I was a rat in a previous existence.
BUFFALO: I love the rain. Oops. I think people know that already. If I hear thunder a-rollin', I strip off , jump out the window and get rollin' in it.
BIRD: Cos you was a hippo in a previous existence?
BUFFALO: No, McDummy, cos I'm a BUFFALO, remember? D'uh!
BIRD: Coarse. Right, now where were we? Ah, yes. Number eight, the last one. OK, um, when I die I want to be buried in my back garden by the Trumpet Vine where I have sat for many an afternoon contemplating my life and happiness.
BUFFALO: When I die, I want to be catapulted nekkid from a circus cannon into the Empire State. No, wait, I want to be catapulted nekkid FROM the top of the Empire State towards the Hudson.
BIRD: Wow. I'd sure like to see that. Dude, I promise you now if I can make that happen, I WILL.
BUFFALO: Thanks, dude. Oh, dude.
BIRD: Yes, dude?
BUFFALO: Do you really wear socks in bed?
BIRD: Just how many knobs have you got?
BUFFALO: Well, at the last count...
COMING SOON: MORE 8 ME-ME's
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