BOFFING WITH BINDY

BIRD: Oh, Buff, I never knew.

BUFFALO: Well, it's kinda poisonal, y'see.

BIRD: And Jennette, she can't return your feelings?

BUFFALO: If only. Thing is, Birdman, I'd be happy just to hold her in me arms. For starters, anyway. And the other day, our finger tips almost touched. I tell ya, it's a hopeless situation.

BIRD: Rewinds me. There was this gal at school...

BUFFALO: Be serious, Birdy. It's not a schoolboy crush here. This woman is perfect in every way. Married to a total jerkoff with minus 20 Freddy activity. Guess I'll have to stop seeing her. Pity, coz I was just starting to get to grips with my delusional suicidal tendencies.

BIRD: Buffy, old chap. It's transference. Get over it. Give Judy a ring.

BUFFALO: Judy... Judy... With her it's all take, take, take, now booger orf, ya auld perv.

BIRD: Well, Karen, then.

BUFFALO: With her it's all huff huff huff, over in a puff.

BIRD: Cheryl?

BUFFALO: Got back together with her fookwit attorney.

BIRD: Cathy?

BUFFALO: Taken up residence with three dogs and a goat in the house of flatulence.

BIRD: Well, er, how about, um, er, Dotty?

BUFFALO: Dotty?! Are you yanking my chain, dude? I'd rather hack off me Freddy and donate it to science than spend a night with that mirthless gal. What is it with her? She can't laugh, sing, dance, say ANYTHING interesting. Dunno wot you see in her.

BIRD: She's all heart, really. Just gotta find the key to open it. Shhh, she's coming. Dum, dee, dum, dee, dum.

DOTTY: Hello, boys.

BIRD & BUFFALO: Hel-lo.

DOTTY: How's it going?

BIRD & BUFFALO: Very well, thank you, Dotty.

DOTTY: I'm not interrupting anything, am I?

BIRD & BUFFALO: No, of course not, Dotty.

DOTTY: Good. Er, have you heard from Sparky lately?

BIRD & BUFFALO: No, we don't know where he is, Dotty.

DOTTY: Oh, well, when you see him could you let me know, there's something I want to ask him.

BIRD & BUFFALO: OK, Dotty, we will.

DOTTY: Well, I'll see you later, then.

BIRD & BUFFALO: OK, Dotty. Bye.

BUFFALO: Jeez, that was close.

BIRD: She just needs some lurrve, Buff. Can't you help her out?

BUFFALO: We ALL need some lurrve, old chum, me more than most.

BIRD: Ah, yes, but you've been looking for it in all the wrong places.

BUFFALO: Would that t'were that simple. Hey, wait, it's me cell phone. It's Bindy. Oh, my, looks like my lucky number's just come up, Birdman! Boffing tonite.

BIRD: You durty auld perv!

BUFFALO: Arf, arf!