Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Punker's Dilemma

BIRD: The mosquitoes are restless tonight.

O woe is for the common man
A minute's silence falls beyond
As death doth wave its vicious wand!

BUFFALO: Which rewinds me... Listen and learn, Birdman.

Wish I was an English muffin,
Sitting on my plate in the morning,
Covered with jam,
Dreaming of Spam
I prefer the boys in Derry
To any ordinary man
I'm a Citizen for Boys-in-Derry jam, ma'am.

Wish I was a roller-coaster
Groovin' on the Upson Downs, man
Shootin' Mexican Brown,
Comin' upside down,
I'd not be bored-in-Derry,
It'd be extraordinary
What a plan.

Ah, South Carolina.

If I became a top-kick first sergeant,
Wudja putcher tulips on my organ?
Ah, smokin' Maryjane
Makes ya think yer a Purple Martin
Roger me you Artful Dodger
You're such a randy codger, dude
Sliding through the basement door
Like a twenty dollar whoor, so crude.

Wish I wasn't quite so flaky,
Enervating always to be corny,
I'm trying to reform
Gonna get reborn
I prefer Poissonberry
To any paganistic jam
I'm a Citizen for Poissonberry jam, damn.

DOTTY: Oh, Buff, that's positively beautiful.

BUFFALO: Why, thank you, fair maiden of the mirthless kind.

BIRD: Film at eleven.

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