DOTTY: I'm back, everyone!
SPARKY: That you, Potty Dotty?
DOTTY: The one and only. But I have to be brief. I'm only allowed to call for a minute and then it's back to the straitjacket and crash helmet.
SPARKY: Are your nipples OK?
DOTTY: My what?
SPARKY: They're not missin' nor nothin'?
DOTTY: You Yanks, you're all the same. Obsessed with ladies' mammalia.
SPARKY: Well, nipples, actually, man. I saw some yesterday and I kinda like 'em. Don't suppose you'd e-mail me yours, wouldya?
DOTTY: Dear boy, MEN have them too!
SPARKY: You sure?
DOTTY: Of course I'm sure. Look in the mirror!
SPARKY: Oh, wow! Kinda nice. But I think I prefer women's. Say, does it tickle when you stroke them?
DOTTY: Oh, really! You're just TOO uncouth, my lad. Give that strapping auld Buff my best regards.
SPARKY: Sure will.
DOTTY: How I've missed him. Oh, and by the way, I've become a lesbian. It's the only way to get Blair out. But I'll make an exception for Buffo. Cheerio.
SPARKY: Right-o. Ooh-hoooo, it's SO ticklish. Cherry. Definitely cherry.
TO BE CONTINUED...