WARNING ADVISORY: MAY ADVERSELY AFFECT THOSE WITH TITTY ALLERGIES AND NIPPLE DEFICIENCY SYNDROME
BIRD: The great global public have spoken. They want Potty Dotty - love that nickname, Sparky, you're a genius - AND they want more titties and rogering.
BUFFALO: Dude, if you’ll recall, we got pranged rather badly for dat sorta ting not so long ago.
BIRD: May oui. My tail feathers are still stinging.
BUFFALO: Oh well, if that’s what they want… but there hasn’t been much action around here lately.
BIRD: What about Sparky, he getting any?
BUFFALO: Not since Cindy melted... er, left him.
BIRD: Weren’t you thinking about joining him at the AA, to meet some, um, colourful women?
BUFFALO: Aye, but the Sparker had a hissy fit. Morally outraged and all. Had to pack that one in.
BIRD: Speaking of packing it in, you don’t think he’s moonlighting at the fudge factory, do you?
BUFFALO: No way, dude, he’s totally diabetic.
BIRD: I think we’re speaking at cross-purposes.
BUFFALO: Which rewinds me. How’s the cross-dressing coming? Are you still masquerading as a trollop in order to sell a book?
BIRD: No comment.
BUFFALO: Ah, too bad, thought it was a great ploy. . . if you’ve got the legs for it.
BIRD: Which I have. Though I'm not that keen on the shaving bit. You always said you were a leg man.
BUFFALO: A great pair of pins makes up for a multitude of sins. Ask Cyd Charisse.
BIRD: True, but what about a bountiful balcony?
BUFFALO: Nice to look at, but I favor quality over quantity, and firmness over volume. Anything more than a handful and a mouthful is just wasted.
BIRD: Schoene. Legs and titties, we're off to a great start.
BUFFALO: And no butts.
BIRD: Quite. Now what about the rogering?
BUFFALO: Long dry spell around here, Birdman, though there are a few prospects. Been hanging out with a more interesting class of drunks lately, some of them sporting perfume and lace. There's a couple I wouldn't mind selling mater downriver for.
BIRD: Sounds promising. Keep us posted.
BUFFALO: Sure, Birdy. Lesser-known fact: it's official - the US is nipple-less.
BUFFALO: I'm having mine paintbrushed off tomorra.
BIRD: Pity. It's your best feature. Everybody says so. Oh, hum. Back to the high heels and blusher, I guess. Film at eleven.
BUFFALO: Arf, arf!