BIRD: Say that again, dude.
BUFFALO: I will if you stop laffing, lad.
BIRD: Sorry. Go on.
BUFFALO: The fire department left about a half an hour ago. Sparky decided to make a pot of soup last night then fell asleep contemplating his navel. All the water in the pot boiled away and the contents burned - fortunately some neighbor smelled the smoke and called the fire department... turns out we have a non-functioning smoke alarm. They broke our door down with a fire ax. Totally freaked me out. The place was crawling with sheriff's officers reading the Riot Act. I thought they were going to arrest us. Now the place reeks of smoke.
BIRD: So where was Sparky while all this was going on?
BUFFALO: In the goddamn shower. I can't believe he didn't smell the smoke... New rule, Birdy: no cooking after dark. Still, I was touched by the neighbors' concern - "Wha' happin, man?" "Those crazy white mo'fos almos' done burned down the joint, man." I tell ya, they thought it was funnier than a truckload of dead Republicans.
BIRD: Which rewinds me. Time for another hose down. Film at eleven.
BUFFALO: Arf, arf!