BUFFALO: Oh, Birdy, the puff pastry pudding that tastes of Nectar of the Goddess working its way to the peak of Mount Climax! Divine. If only I hadn't popped me cork at the most inopportune of moments.
BIRD: Happens to the best of us. Still the most popular vid on YouTube, like.
BIRD: Anyhoo, many thanks to Cheddar X for this 7 Me-Me. Ready, Buff?
BUFFALO: You sent that jpeg file to YouTube?!! Dammit, dude, that’s poisonal. Between you, me and the Mons Venus!
BIRD: Later, dude. You’ll thank me for it. Trust me. Now, your starter for ten: where do you see your age?
BUFFALO: Um... uh... on me nips, mostly. They’re not as hard as they used to be, but hey, I ain’t had no complaints so far.
BIRD: Where do you feel your age?
BUFFALO: In the bed, on the sofa, in the car, just about wherever I can lay my hands on it.
BIRD: Where do you hear your age?
BUFFALO: In the ever flowing stream at the bottom of the road. In the birdsong outside my window. In the wind in the trees. In the click in my neck as I strain to please.
BIRD: Where do you smell your age?
BUFFALO: In the john of an evening, although I tend not to linger.
BIRD: What is your most vivid memory of childhood?
BUFFALO: When I was two, I got me Freddy stuck in the cat flap. Thus began my fascination with pussies.
BIRD: What was “old” when you were a little kid?
BUFFALO: 10. When I had my 10th birthday, I cried into my cake and my best friend shoved me head in the trifle then whacked me on the ass with a baseball bat. I knew then that it was all over.
BIRD: Does that seem so old now?
BUFFALO: If I knew then what I know now, I’d have inhaled petrol and thrown myself on the Barbie. Actually, that ain’t such a bad idea.
BIRD: Thanks, dude. You’ve been most Frank.
BUFFALO: Now about that video…
BIRD: Available here: http://www.youtube.com/ Ends rather abruptly, but as The Daily Splasher so aptly put it – “The juiciest romp since Carry On Camping! Bring a towel!”
BUFFALO: Oh, cor, blimey, mister!
BIRD: Film at eleven.
BUFFALO: Arf, arf!
CHEDDAR X MAY BE VISITED AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS:
CHEDDAR CHEESE, ENGLISH CHEESE AT ITS BEST, ALTHOUGH STILTON'S NOT ARF BAD.