MORIBUND WITH A PADDLE

OTTO FELLATIO: You are a friend of Birdy, yes?

POTTY DOTTY: Yes.

OTTO FELLATIO: You've been feeling moribund lately.

POTTY DOTTY: I beg your pardon?

OTTO FELLATIO: Stagnant, without force or vitality.

POTTY DOTTY: Well, yes.

OTTO FELLATIO: Awkward in the company of strangers.

POTTY DOTTY: Yes.

OTTO FELLATIO: Irritable for no reason.

POTTY DOTTY: Yes!

OTTO FELLATIO: And if I touch you…

POTTY DOTTY: Oh my… wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

OTTO FELLATIO: I thought as much.

POTTY DOTTY: Mmmmmm. Thank you.

OTTO FELLATIO: And I if blow in your ear thus…

POTTY DOTTY: Well, I… wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

OTTO FELLATIO: And you find yourself regularly erupting on public transport if a man brushes your shoulder?

POTTY DOTTY: Well, yes. By the way, thank you again. (moans gently)

OTTO FELLATIO: You’re the third case this week.

POTTY DOTTY: Am I? Of what?

OTTO FELLATIO: TPES.

POTTY DOTTY: TPES?

OTTO FELLATIO: Temporary Persistent Ejaculation Syndrome. The slightest touch from a member of the opposite sex will trigger it off. Here, take these.

POTTY DOTTY: The Hitachi DZBX35EUK DVD Camcorder and a pair of bicycle clips?

OTTO FELLATIO: I think you know what I’m saying.

POTTY DOTTY: YouTube?

OTTO FELLATIO: For Christmas. My work is done, yes?

POTTY DOTTY: Yes.

OTTO FELLATIO: We shall meet again, in this world or the next. Think Fellatio, think Otto.

POTTY DOTTY: Video at eleven.

OTTO FELLATIO: Ahhh-f, ahhh-f!