Saturday, November 18, 2006

TODAY AND TODAY AND ALL OUR TOMORROWS

FIFI: Did someone say rabbits’ scrotums?

BIRD: Er, yeah.

FIFI: Reminds me of when I was back on the farm. Truly yummy.

BUFFALO: You used to eat them?

FIFI: Yup. With jam and bread.

BIRD: Omigod! I thought they used them in adhesives.

BUFFALO: And I thought they went straight to the Durex factory.

FIFI: They're full of vitamins and nutrients. Used for all sorts of things. It’s all hush-hush now. I mean, kiddies would ditch the Corn Flakes in a flash if they knew rabbits’ scrotums were in the mix, c’est vrai?

BIRD: Jeez. Never mind the kiddies. I’m abstaining from now on.

BUFFALO: Me too.

FIFI: And as for the peanut butter…

BIRD: Stop right there.

BUFFALO: Yeah. We gotta eat, ain’t we? And I sure is hungry, for the old femme nectar, if you get m’drift.

BIRD: Oo er.

FIFI: A hot date in the offing, Buffo?

BUFFALO: You betcha. Got the champers and whirring toys loaded. Liftoff at eleven.

BIRD: You darty dawg.

BUFFALO: Arf, arf! Laters.

FIFI: Incorrigible.

BIRD: Spreading a little happiness, as is his wont. Anyhoo, how are you?

FIFI: I have sunk into spinelessness like an old dishrag. And it would behoove me to pick up that dishrag that languishes in my sink for lack of use, and scrub out a few choice places. And my shower head has broken. Must get it fixed before I begin to fester.

BIRD: Oh, dear.

FIFI: But I have just written a Limerick for my favorite agony aunt Anna Babana. Yours to use as you see fit.

Down in Habana
From her cabana
Anna Babana
doles out advice
to the Love Lorn.
Crying in their beer
They consult this seer,
So that by manana
They're all mens sana
In corpore sano
Although their lives are guano.

BIRD: Rimshot! Great work. My favourite agony aunt was Otto Fellatio, but that’s another story.

FIFI: Ah, dear Otto. I trust he’s well.

BIRD: Still giving out handy advice, so I hear.

FIFI: I thought he would be. Well, give him my love.

BIRD: I will.

FIFI: Must attend to some sick pussies now. Ta-ra-la.

BIRD: Cheerio, sweetie. Film at eleven.

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