FEARFUL FOR BORAT SAGDIYEV'S LIFE, WE DECIDED TO RING AROUND A FEW FRIENDS AND SEE WHAT COULD BE DONE. AFTER AN AMIABLE CHAT OVER TEA & BUNS WITH AN INTERMEDIARY NAMED BUGGERAT AT AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT WAS ISSUED.
A PUBLIC STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF PUBISTAN, BORIS HAZAM RIPYOREBOLLOKOV, UNABRIDGED
"Comrades, engineers, scientists, workers, and serfs!
Long live the glorious democratic revolution of 1905 in our fair country of Pubistan. I have interrupted detailed negotiations with the Pubitburo for the forthcoming five-year plan to make a grave and most important announcement. It has come to the attention of the commissariatat of Foreign Affairs that the mutually unfriendly republic of Kazakhstan has, in spite of numerous reassurances and the signing of internationally verifiable agreements, and also in spite of the resounding success of the greatest political agitational film ever in the turbulent history of the people's cinema, condemned our esteemed comrade-in-arms Borat Sagdiyev - recently made an Honorary Journalist Extraordinaire of the Republic of Pubistan - to be executed should he step foot back in his beloved homeland of Kazakhstan. Therefore, dear comrades, engineers, scientists, workers and serfs! We as a country in love with democracy and pubism and the ingenuity of the social soul, have seen fit in our deepest wisdom, and are of a mind to, all questions of dialectical materialism being equal, to resolve to grant immediate political asylum to Comrade Borat Sagdiyev. In the power that has been invested in me by the glorious democratic revolution of our ancestral agitators for peace, of 1905 no less, I welcome Comrade Borat Sagdiyev and all his extended family - and even his producer Azamat, although he has a quite unbecoming and somewhat repulsive rear end - to join the people of the Democratic Republic of Pubistan in building a glorious future of prosperity and overfulfilled five-year plans for as long as they shall live. So say I, Boris Hazam Ripyorebollokov, President of the Democratic Republic of Pubistan, peace impending!
We are absolutely certain that our country and party, armed with the historical resolutions of the 21st Congress, will lead the Pubistan people along the democratic path to new successes, to new victories.
Long live the victorious banner of our democratic Pubism! Long live Borat!"
(WILD CHEERING, WHISTLING, FOOT STAMPING & PHONE TAPPING)