SNORTING IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

BIRD: I've been thinking, dude.

BUFFALO: Steady, lad. We've already had one hurricane over ear, like.

BIRD: Just for one second, dude, can you try, I mean REALLY try to listen?

BUFFALO: I hear ya, dude. Adjusting da volume as I peak. But I was wondering, about the title, like. Snorting an' all. Gimme an udder line, man, hey ho!

BIRD: Not that kind of snorting, dude. I mean a rough, noisy sound made by breathing forcefully through the nostrils, as a horse or pig does. The sound we make when we're displeased, disrespectful or hostile to that which is other.

BUFFALO: Oh, youse talking reconciliation, innit!

BIRD: Yeah. And understanding. Let it be, Macca said.

BUFFALO: Wizended words from Sir Paul. But three quarters round the roundabout, what specifically are you motioning at, dude?

BIRD: Miss takes, that sort of thing.

BUFFALO: And wot would you like to confess to, my son?

BIRD: Well, there's this mate, see, and we fell out a while back and I miss him, like. And it got me thinking.

BUFFALO: Dude, not everybody wants to be your friend. Just stick to the good'uns, like.

BIRD: Dude, you know you've lost good friends too. You don't want to lose any more, do ya?

BUFFALO: Not inherently. Pray, continue, o birded one.

BIRD: Well, I was thinking we should give those we hold special space to inflect.

BUFFALO: Oh, I geddit. And you've written to this chum?

BIRD: Well, not yet. But I'm thinking about it.

BUFFALO: Yeah, right. I can feel people thinking about me ALL the time. I've got a whole box full of people's thoughts about me.

BIRD: OK, OK, I get your drift. Time to act. OK, all right, yes. You've done it this time, Buffters. You've really stirred me into action. Nothing ventured, nothing ingrained.

BUFFALO: Break a leg, dude.

BIRD: "Dear Smudger, many years have passed, when we were young and life was long. And I was wondering..." Um, er, hm, ah...

BUFFALO: Go, Birdy! Go, Birdy! Arf, arf!