AND I MEAN URGENT!
THE BACKGROUND: WE RECEIVED THIS E-MAIL BUT YESTERDAY EVENING AND BECAUSE IT WAS MARKED URGENT WE FELT WE HAD TO RESPOND ASAP. FIFI RECKONS IT'S A SCAM BUT I DUNNO, SHE HAS A SUSPICIOUS MIND AND HE SEEMS SUCH A NICE CHAP AND HIS OFFER IS VERY HARD TO DESIST. JUDGE FOR YOURSELVES: ARE WE BEING FAIR HERE? OR TOO GENEROUS? OR JUST PLAIN STOOPID? INK-WIRING MINDS WANT 2 KNOW.
THE FOREGROUND: SOME GRASS, A FEW FIR TREES, A SHED AND 6FT HIGH FENCE.
MR LOMPO: FROM THE DESK OF MR MOUBARIK LOMPO MANAGER AUDIT AND ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT BANK INTERNATIONAL DU BURKINAFASO.( B.I.B)
BIRD: Hi, there!
MR LOMPO: I am Mr. moubarik lompo, Manager Audit Accounting Department Bank International Du Burkina B.I.B.
BIRD: That's nice. Mr Loco, you say? I like banks with abbreviations. Now how can I help?
MR LOMPO: I would like to know if this proposal will be worth while for your acceptance.
BIRD: I'm listening.
MR LOMPO: I have a Foreign Customer,Andreas Schranner from Germany who is an Investor, Crude Oil Merchant and Federal Government Contractor...
BIRD: Piquing my interest here, dude.
MR LOMPO: ..that was a victim with Concord Air Line, flight AF4590 killing 113 people crashed on 25 July 2000 near Paris...
BIRD: Sorry to hear that. Friend of yours, was he?
MR LOMPO: ..leaving a closing balance of Twelve Million Eight Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($12.8m in one of his Private US Dollar Account...
BIRD: That's a lorra dough.
MR LOMPO: ..that is been managed by me as the Customer's Account Officer.
BIRD: The grammar, dude, it's just not happening, but go on.
MR LOMPO: Base on my security report, these funds can be claimed without any hitches as no one is aware of the funds and its closing balance except me and the customer (Now Deceased)...
BIRD: Er, and you're writing to us because...
MR LOMPO: ..therefore, I can present you as the Next of Kin...
BIRD: Ah, I think I can see what you're deriving at.
MR LOMPO: ..and we will work out the modalities for the claiming of the funds in accordance with the law.
BIRD: Well, naturally.
MR LOMPO: If you are interested, Please call me to discuss in further details and our sharing ratio will be 60% for me and 30% for you...
BIRD: You're nothing if not a fair man, Mr Loco. And your number is?
MR LOMPO: ..while 10% wil be for the necessary expenses that might occur along the line.
BIRD: But of course. Now if you'd just tell me your number...
MR LOMPO: Thank you, Sincerely.
BIRD: No, thank YOU!
MR LOMPO: ( MR) moubarik lompo
BIRD: Oh, there's just one tincy wincy bincy quincy little nagging doubt here, Mr Lompo: Apparent Lee, Andreas Schanner was delayed that day and never actually made it onto that flight, which makes your proposal slightly dodgy, to say the least. However, providing you've got access to his stash of cash, I think we can overlook that minor discrepancy, on the strict understanding, of course, that if you are caught with your Freddy in the till, so to speak, that you and I have never met and that you have no idea who I am or what happened to the 30% once it's mysteriously removed from a certain Mr Sparky's Swiss bank account within minutes of you transferring the money into it. Oh, and one last thing, just to ensure that you don't have second thoughts about doing business with the delectavious Tails From The Bird & Buffalo franchise, I have concealed in several e-mail in-boxes of some highly trusted pals copies of your e-mail, which if revealed to Interpol would lead to you spending a VERY long time in prison, or perhaps enduring an even worse fate. Now does that sound reasonable to you? Cyber shake on it? Mr Loco? Are you there?