Wednesday, February 07, 2007

AN OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE...AND SO SAY ALL OF US

BIRD: Hello?

KINNEY DALLIS: Hi there! My name Kinney Dallis!

BIRD: But I don't know any Kinneys.

KINNEY DALLIS: Thank you for your loan request, which we recieved yesterday, your refinance application has been accepted Good Credit or Not,

BIRD: Eh?

KINNEY DALLIS: We are ready to give you a $390,000 loan, after further review, our lenders have established the lowest monthly payments. Approval process will take only 1 minute.
Please visit the confirmation link below and fill-out our short 30 second Secure Web-Form.

www.iamadumbfuckwillingtoloseeverythingthendie.com/


BIRD: Er, thanks, but no, thanks.

KINNEY DALLIS: You're welcome.

BIRD: Don't ya just love spam? Now lemme just click on this baby here... Urgh yahhhhk! More rabbit porn. I tell ya, dude. Pubistan must be stopped.

BUFFALO: Yeah. It's giving good honest clean darty porn a bad name.

BIRD: Exactly.

BUFFALO: Wait, dude. Kinney Dallis is a goddamn rabbit?

BIRD: Hey, sorry, dude. I clicked on the wrong link. I went to www.iamadumbfuckwhowillclickonanythingthendie.com/

BUFFALO: You too, huh? Must stop doing that.

BIRD: A cautionary tale for all our fans, if ever there was one.

BUFFALO: Yer right there, my avian chum.

BIRD: O shite on a tricycle! Now I can't close the window down.

BUFFALO: Reboot.

BIRD: Bollax on a sandwich. Rebooting now. What the...

BUFFALO: What's that, dude?

BIRD: Pop ups. Nothing but pop ups with dollar signs and boobs and rabbits' bits and... Oh, I don't believe it!

BUFFALO: Dude, you're scaring me! Are you OK?

BIRD: A new e-mail has flashed up. Listen to this:

THE LOTTERY DEPARTMENT
UK.22 Garden Close,
PE9 2YP, London

REF Nº:UKNL-L/200-26937BATCH Nº:14/0017/1PD

Dear Winner!

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £1,000,000.00 (British Pounds) held on the 1St of February 2007 inLondon Uk. The selection process was carried out through randomselection in our computerized email selection system(ess) from adatabase of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from which you were selected. The BRITISH UK. Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board. To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our fiduaciary claims department for more infomation as regards procedures to claimyour prize. Contact your fiduciary agent below for claims process. Name: Mr Shedrack Harrison .Phone # : +44-702-405-4092

Is nowhere safe?

BUFFALO: Dunno, dude. Sounds kinda plausible. Maybe you should phone.

BIRD: Are you serious?

BUFFALO: Could've won a lorra money.

BIRD: No way, dude. No. No. No.

BUFFALO: Do it.

BIRD: No.

BUFFALO: Go on.

BIRD: No!

BUFFALO: I knew a Shedrack once. Nice kid. Skinny. Pointy ears. Bit of a lisp. Ring him.

BIRD: Oh, OK, then. Film at eleven.

BUFFALO: Arf, arf! Omigod! Wot have I done. I woz only havin' a laff. Like.

1 comment:

Jeremy said...

Hilarious!

jeremy