Wednesday, February 28, 2007

ANTONELLA BARBA DOWN DEEP & DARTY ON DA YOUTUBE

BUFFALO: Antonella who? Did wot?

BIRD: Antonella Barba. American Idol, dude. She's gonna win it, Apparent Lee, by a head. Her vid is doin' a gagging trade on da YouTube, like.

BUFFALO: Wot vid? Xplain, pliz, Lucy.

BIRD: It's incredible. Pushing the boundaries. Breaking new ground.

BUFFALO: Holy salivations! Wot in Theodore Digitalis's name is she doin' innit?

BIRD: Gardening, dude. Getting down deep and darty.

BUFFALO: Wot, with a trowel and shrubs 'n' stuff?

BIRD: Yahhh-p. The way she strokes that hoe - it's electrifying!

BUFFALO: Omigod! I'm gettin' that Olivia Newton-John Grease moment all over again. Just wot exactly is she doin' wid dat hoe, dude?

BIRD: Cutting the border on the lawn.

BUFFALO: No! Ohhh...

BIRD: Yes. And you know wot she does next?

BUFFALO: Don't tell me, lemme guess. Cuts the lawn?

BIRD: Yahhp! Slowly, methodically, like a real pro. Wiping her hot, sweaty face and brow as she goes.

BUFFALO: Oh Merciful Marigolds! Is she wearin' a hat?

BIRD: Yahhp.

BUFFALO: A baseball hat?

BIRD: Yahhp.

BUFFALO: A New York Yankees' baseball hat?

BIRD: Yahhp.

BUFFALO: Ohhhh... And the vid's on YouTube, you say?

BIRD: Was.

BUFFALO: Was?!

BIRD: It was voluntarily pulled - too many elderly male gardeners were having seizures, like.

BUFFALO: But of course.

BIRD: But the good news is...

BUFFALO: Go on.

BIRD: You can still see the full 15-minute unedited feast of horticultural celebration at http://www.sexygardening4beginners.com/.

BUFFALO: Wow. Clicking as we speak.

BIRD: I tell ya, dude, when she pops that wet grass onto the compost heap down by the potting shed and starts cleaning her tools...

BUFFALO: Dude, dude, don't spoil it! Ohhh, yeah... there she goes to the shed. She's getting the lawn mower out... Oh, Antonella, you darty gal...

BIRD: Film at eleven?

BUFFALO: Watering at twelve! Arf, arf!

1 comment:

Jeremy said...

Barba-ric!