Tuesday, July 24, 2007


WATSON: I say, Holmes.

HOLMES: Yes, Watson?

WATSON: What's Wombic sex?

HOLMES: A cunning ploy.

WATSON: A punning cloy?

HOLMES: No, you silly billy. A device.

WATSON: What, like a BP3?

HOLMES: That's MP3, old chap, and it hasn't been invented yet.

WATSON: Good Lord! Now I'm more confused than ever what what what. So Wombic sex is a device. A device to do what?

HOLMES: To see how many times one may use the word sex with impunity. The hit counter, which also hasn't been invented yet, will be going ballistic as soon as you press "Publish post".

WATSON: "Sex with impunity"? Publish post"? Publish what post? I'm afraid you've lost me past the mortuary, old bean.

HOLMES: It's all right, old chum. It's all a dream. (winks to webcam, which also hasn't been invented yet).

WATSON: Well, if you say so, old man. Although there's an excerpt in this pamphlet that came through the door: "Though the single nature of Wombic mind, which completely pervades both cyclic sex and near copulation, has been naturally present from the beginning, you have not anointed it. Even though its radiance and awareness have never been anything more than Wombic interruptus, you have not yet encountered its true behind." Can't make a blinking head nor tail of it, Holmes.

HOLMES: My dear quack, you are reading from The Wombic Book Of The Dead, Chapter 2. Nobody has EVER got past Chapter 1. It is said that there is a hidden message in Chapter 1 that turns a man to the mirror and madness.

WATSON: Good Lord! You don't think that I might go bonkers too, do you?

HOLMES: For somebody with such a tenuous hold on mental clarity, I'm sure it will bring you nothing but joy.

WATSON: Thank Prince Albert for that! For a moment back there, I thought I was losing my yarbles, I mean marbles.

HOLMES: Birth, sex, death, old fruit. But it's what happens in between that gives the inquiring mind pause for thought.

WATSON: Well, quite. Oh, dear, I fear you've lost me again. It's getting late, I think I'll turn in.

HOLMES: Most wise, Watson. Do not be deceived by the glow. All that is light is not of the light and may prove darker in a lighter place.

WATSON: Good Lord!

HOLMES: Good night, Watson.

WATSON: Good night, Holmes. All that's darker than light glows in the lighter place of deception... Oh, dear. I'm truly befuddled now. But I'll get to Chapter 3. I'll show that Holmes. Those Wombics won't beat me with their convulsive elaborations and sexy cycles. No Wombic interruptus for me! Hudders, get the lavender oil ready, I'm on my way!

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