Thursday, July 10, 2008

MEET ME LITTER RARE E AGENT - MR I CHING




BIRD: Strap yourself in, dude, and listen in to me chewin' da breeze wid mah homey litter rare E agent, like.


BUFFALO: Dude, wot the fook are you talking about?!


BIRD: You, me, the universe and uddery. We got an agent, innit. After all these years of obscurantory.


BUFFALO: Woo-hoo! Nice! What'shisname?


BIRD: Mr I Ching. Dunno wot the I stands for, but dude, we're in! Pour yerself a strong one, lean back and listen to the chat we had but one hour ago.


BUFFALO: Cracking open a bottle of Muscatel as I lower myself into the recliner...


BIRD: Here goes!


Um, er, is that Mr Ching?


I CHING: Ask I Ching.


BIRD: Mr I Ching. Excellent. I've been trying to reach you for some time.


I CHING: Perseverance furthers.


BIRD: Sure does. Da auld Buff and I have been looking for an agent to publish our book, Tails From The Bird And Buffalo: The Walrus Years, like.


I CHING: If someone is not as he should be, He has misfortune, And it does not further him, To undertake anything.


BIRD: Well, yeah, I used to think that but now I've finally got through to you, hopefully, all that is about to change.


I CHING: Under heaven thunder rolls, All things attain the natural state of innocence.


BIRD: My thoughts entirely. So you're happy to represent us?


I CHING: The great departs; the small approaches.


BIRD: Absolutely. I can't tell you how excited we are about this.


I CHING: The superior man falls back upon his inner worth, In order to escape the difficulties.


BIRD: Oh, wow! Hey, could you hang on? I need to grab a pen. Just to jot down the basic elements of the contract, like.


I CHING: He does not permit himself to be honoured with revenue.


BIRD: Yes, well... So you think you can place our book?


I CHING: The superior man keeps the inferior man at a distance, Not angrily but with reserve.


BIRD: A-ha. So how long do we have to wait before we hear something?


I CHING: In the midst of the greatest obstructions, Friends come.


BIRD: So, what are we talking, a few weeks?


I CHING: Joy comes softly, It furthers one to make offerings and libations.


BIRD: Brill! So I'll be waiting for your call. An email even.


I CHING: The light has sunk into the earth, The image of Darkening of the Light, He veils his light, yet still shines.


BIRD: Right O! It's been a pleasure talking to you, Mr Ching. Um, just curious. What does the I stand for?
I CHING: The Clinging, The Arousing.
BIRD: I see. Waiting for your call.
I CHING: Above the arousing, Below the Abysmal.


BIRD: Bye then.


I CHING: Oppression. Success. Perseverance.


BIRD: Right back at ya!


*****


BUFFALO: Wow! This I Ching dude is well cool. Well done, Birdy. You have done well.


BIRD: Tanks, Buff. Onwards and upwards.


BUFFALO: Success on a plate.


BIRD: Gotta run. The Orifice beckons.


BUFFALO: Watch out for low flying.


BIRD: Film at eleven.


BUFFALO: Arf, arf!

1 comment:

Donia said...

Fortunate fellows, to have stumbled upon Mr. I Ching. he holds his cards close to the vest, just the sort of wise guy you want for your agent.

Sift through his enigmatic profundities and you will find success and mucho $$$$$$.