SPARKY SPEAKS OUT

SPARKY: Hey, this is really cool, man. I got a job. Well, y'know, it pays the bills. And I got my friends at the AA. I make the tea and stuff. Hand out the cookies. So I was wondering, er, what's this blog all about? Buff told me there's big bucks in it for me if I behave myself and stop showing my wanger in public. So what's the score, man?

BIRD: Well, Sparky, it's like this. There are thousands of fans out there glued to their screens, following the saga which is Sparky.

SPARKY: Hey, cool. Am I gonna be on The Late Show?

BIRD: Dude, you are gonna be presenting the Oscars next year.

SPARKY: Aw, shucks. Me? Really? Far out, man. I mean, woo, groovy. Can Cindy come too?

BIRD: Who's Cindy?

SPARKY: She's my doll. I never go anywhere without her. Say hi, Cindy. Hasn't she got the most amazing hair you've ever seen?

BIRD: Yeah. Charming. (Jeez...)

SPARKY: Cindy and I are THIS close. She is SO cool.

BUFFALO: Sparky? Sparky! Where are you, you pea-brained, nut-bladdered douche bag?

SPARKY: Oh, hi, Buff. Me and Cindy were just shooting the breeze with Birdy here.

BUFFALO: You introduced Cindy? Wow, Birdy, you ARE honored. Er, Sparky old chap, d'ya think you could give Birdy and moi a few minutes alone.

SPARKY: You got it, man. Cool. Come on, Cindy, love, let's go play in the cave.

BUFFALO: Oh, Jeez.

BIRD: Cindy, eh?

BUFFALO: I was going to tell ya, but... He takes the friggin' doll everywhere, even into the shower with him.

BIRD: Ah. Very touching. True friendship.

BUFFALO: 'Nam blew his mind, dude. Wait till he introduces you to his furry friends, poor looney fooker. Still, there's always the Toe Jam, like.

BIRD: He seems happy enuff.

BUFFALO: Oh, he's happy all right, along with his 250 "doll" friends, all lined up on his bed.

BIRD: Omigod.

BUFFALO: But Cindy's his "special" friend, you understand.

BIRD: I see.

BUFFALO: The head doc says if they make it through the next five years together, everything'll be fine.

BIRD: Lovely. Er, Buff, gotta go, got some sick pussies to attend to. Film at eleven.

BUFFALO: Arf, arf!