DOTTY: **** you, Birdy!
BIRD: Hi, Dotty.
DOTTY: So I went on a blind date. Stupid thing to do, really. And I got into the car and there she was…
BIRD: She?
DOTTY: Yeah, she. A ***** inflatable doll. I was sat there for ten ***** minutes waiting for him/her/it to speak. It was dark, OK. And then the dirty ***** broke wind and I said, you dirty ***** ***** ****! So, naturally, he/she/it didn’t move. So I leaned over and called he/she/it a silly **** and that’s when I realised it was all rubber. Naked **** rubber. Silicone tits and every **** other hole imaginable. So I punched the stupid **** and the ***** doll says straight back at me, “Hello, gorgeous, are you ready for your blow job now?” Well, **** that! ******** piece of ******!!
BIRD: That’s hilarious.
BUFFALO: Laffing me ass off here, dudes!
DOTTY: That’s not funny, you ffff******* c******!
BIRD: No, stop. I think I’m gonna soil myself.
BUFFALO: Same here, dudes. Wikkid!
DOTTY: So I thumped the doll on the head, at which point he/she/it burst and leaked a white splodge all over my dress. Most embarrassing!
(BIRD AND BUFFALO GIGGLE UNCONTROLLABLY)
DOTTY: What did I say? What did I say?
BIRD: Omigod. I think I’ve wet myself.
BUFFALO: Me too, dudes. You should do stand-up.
DOTTY: You fffffff***** c**********!
BIRD: Film at eleven.
BUFFALO: Arf, arf!
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