SAGE AND ONION, TAKE THIS!

BUFFALO: I'll show that broody booger a thing or two. Sage and Onion, take this!

There was a young sage from Stockholm
Who endeavored to write a stock poem
But his angst done him in
He was trumped by a Finn
And now lives in Norway with Ian Holm.

BIRD: Good one. Ian Holm, dude?

BUFFALO: Yup.

BIRD: Played Bilbo Baggins, dinny?

BUFFALO: Yup.

BIRD: And an alien thingie in Alien?

BUFFALO: Yup. Ker-chung!

Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds
At the Battle of Copenhagen
Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds
Pursued by one Norwegian.

BIRD: Wasn't Erik the Viking, wassit?

BUFFALO: None other.

BIRD: Those Vikings knew a thing or two.

BUFFALO: Yup. Kinda quiet in here, don't ya think?

BIRD: Positively venereal.

BUFFALO: Where's everybody gone?

BIRD: Wish I knew.

BUFFALO: You like Scrabble?

BIRD: I LOVE Scrabble.

BUFFALO: Fancy a game?

BIRD: OK.

BUFFALO: Oh, fook! I've got the Q. If only Mommy hadn't switched out the LIGHT. Six, seven, eight, nine. Eighteen.

BIRD: Film at ELEVEN. Triple letter. Seventeen.

BUFFALO: Think Fifi'll be back?

BIRD: Course she will.

BUFFALO: I miss her.

BIRD: We all do.

BUFFALO: Fookin' Sage & ONION. Five.

BIRD: Aw, come on, Buff, don't feel ABANDONED. All me letters out. Thirteen plus fifty. Sixty-three.

BUFFALO: No fair. No fair. HELP. Seven, eight, nine. Double word. Eighteen. (sighs)

TO BE CONTINUED...