I RHYME THEREFORE I AM

BUFFALO: Damn yer germs, dude. Aaaaaaaaa-t-chooooooooooo!

BIRD: Not you too?

BUFFALO: Feel like microwaved roadkill. Tried just about everything. Even Sparky's Toe Jam.

BIRD: What about the zinc tablets?

BUFFALO: I've swallowed so many of 'em, I think I'm about to rust. Or corrode. Or sumthin' VERY unpleasant. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

BIRD: Wot about Absinthe?

BUFFALO: Huh? I've heard that stuff can blow yer head off at 200 yards.

BIRD: Sniff it and see. How's Sparky?

BUFFALO: Even worse. The Jehovah's Witnesses were round this mawnin' to give the poor auld jerkoff the final rites.

BIRD: Gott und Himmel!

BUFFALO: And worse still - Fifi's gone missing.

BIRD: Gone missing?!

BUFFALO: Said she had to reassess her poetic vision.

BIRD: I rhyme therefore I am?

BUFFALO: More like aaaaaaaa... aaaaa-t-choooooo! I sneeze therefore I snot.

BIRD: Yuck to that, dude. But sinusly, where is she?

BUFFALO: Rumour has it in Colorado, gone to see the Sage of Sweden.

BIRD: The Sage of Sweden? Jeez. Brave gal.

BUFFALO: Or very foolhardy.

BIRD: Ah, yes, but is the glass half full or half empty?

BUFFALO: Or is life but a dream that you never wake up from?

BIRD: And how can we ever know that which is other?

BUFFALO: Or where sense begins and meaning ends?

BIRD: If we could see...

BUFFALO: Wot would the answer be?

BIRD: The mystery...

BUFFALO: The pain... aaaaaaaaaaa...

BIRD: Film at eleven.

BUFFALO: Aaaaa...rf, aaaaa...rf. T-choooo!