SPARKY: He's on the cellphone. He's asking for ya, man.
BIRD: Thank you, God. Put him on.
BUFFALO: Meet me by the grave of Percy Longwater Gooding, by the light of the silvery moon.
BUFFALO: Why Percy Longwater Gooding? Because his bones are slight and the earth is soft.
BIRD: Are you OK?
BUFFALO: How we let the silence swallow us up. So little moves me any more. If only I had an extra pair of lungs.
BIRD: Just how much trank have you had, dude?
BUFFALO: I’ve kept this last piece specially for you. Sorry if I’m a little vague, but human contact was never my forte. Don't forget to water the balls, old chum. Cheerio, Lucy.
(cellphone cuts out)
HOLMES: Hm. One is reminded of The Notorious Case Of The Missing Gamete Of Bayswater, alas no longer in print, but if memory serves me right a most malicious toxic mixture of horse manure, pig's trotters' glue and Toblerone was injected into a passing coal man for a bet.
WATSON: Oh, good Lord, Holmes! That unfortunate creature went quite bonkers and after running the length and breadth of Westminster Bridge stark bollock - a-hm - naked plunged into the murky waters of the cavernous Thames never to be seen or heard of again. You don't think...
BIRD: You don't think... It's finally happened! He really has become as crazy as a shithouse rat! And all before we ever got to share that pint at the Dog & Duck. 'Tis a cruel fate that bares a false wind on the aft. Fare ye well, dear Buffters. Alas, I knew him not but his mark is undeliverable and writ large. It shall dwell in this here cyberspace FOREVER. Ah MEN!