BIRD: If you're offered one, dude, don't eat it.
BUFFALO: Huh? Information, pliz, Lucy.
BIRD: Someone's trying to destabilize the Pubes. Yesterday mawnin', the Commissar of Economic Endeavour of Pubistan on a fact-finding mission to the Royal Institute of Research into Enlarged Rabbits' Scrotums in Norfolk was offered a dodgy thallium and cheese sandwich. Luckily, Leonid Hazam Ripyorebollokov hates cheese and gave it to his assistant Dmitry Hazam Ripyorebollokov Jnr (no relation), who being of a sound scientific mind and well versed in dialectical materialism sent it to the Portland Down Atomic Research Institute for analysis.
BUFFALO: Yikes! But why would anyone want to bump off Lenny Hairy Bollocks Missing or whatever his name is?
BIRD: Speculation is rife. It could well be an attempt by the breakaway agitational grouping Bring Back King Bangatittyov XI. Apparent Lee, they've dispatched over 1,000 thallium and cheese sandwiches to Pubistan government figures and their supporters.
BUFFALO: And that includes us?
BIRD: Yahhhh-p. We promoted their country, for a small fee, remember?
BUFFALO: Jeez. Nowadays, a bird and buffalo can't earn an honest crust without being threatened with a slow, agonizing death. Whadda we gonna do, Birdman?
BIRD: Lie low for a while till it blows over, and whatever you do, don't mention the Pubes.
BUFFALO: Gotcha, dude.
BIRD: Or Borat.
BUFFALO: Righty-ho. But wot about the Ode?
BIRD: Another time.
BUFFALO: OK.
BIRD: Oh, btw, went the weekend well in the nectar department?
BUFFALO: Super scrummyathon, my avian chum. (sighs contentedly, wags tail)
BIRD: Go, Buffy! Go, Buffy!
BUFFALO: Arf, arf!
IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF THALLIUM POISONING, REMEMBER, WE DON'T KNOW YOU, WE'VE NEVER MET YOU, WE WISH YOU ALL THE BEST BUT WE REALLY CAN'T HELP YOU, BUT THANKS FOR SUPPORTING THE FLOG. MUCH APPRECIATED. WELL, BYE NOW.
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