8 ME-ME

BIRD: Should be fun, this, Buffters.

BUFFALO: Let's hope so. My back is killing me. Ridin' the ol' roller-coaster, like.

BIRD: Keep it clean, Buffty. We're trying to raise our pre-watershed ratings. So... Eight thingies you didn't know about moi et toi. I'll go first. My favourite meal is bacon and eggs with mushrooms, beans and toast. And a big mug of hot piping tea.

BUFFALO: My favorite meal is lamb vindaloo curry with Tabasco sauce and a coupla cans of Guinness.

BIRD: I sleep with my socks on.

BUFFALO: I sleep belly down with my butt peeping out.

BIRD: Too much information, methinks, Buff. I always cry when I see a dog without a leg.

BUFFALO: Well, I always cry when I see my bank balance at the end of the month and wonder how I'm going to avoid abject poverty and social exclusion.

BIRD: My first love was called Debbie. She dumped me two days later when she got a new bicycle. The bicycle was pink. I hate the colour pink.

BUFFALO: My first love was called Trixie. I nearly choked to death on her pigtail when I went to kiss her on the way home from school on our first date. I was resuscitated by a passing Jehovah's Witness. Sad but true.

BIRD: When I was ten I had corrective surgery for knobbly knees. Now my hips are going wobbly.

BUFFALO: I've got more knobs than Wal-Mart. But the gals don't seem to mind.

BIRD: Buff, pliz.

BUFFALO: OK, OK.

BIRD: I faint at the sight of blood.

BUFFALO: I faint at the sight of over-sexed walruses humping on a hot summer's day.

BIRD: Oh, really!

BUFFALO: Really, dude! I was at the zoo, it was hot, and I heard this slobbering and high-pitched yakking and...

BIRD: Yes, that's quite enuff of that, thank you. I love tunnels. I think I was a rat in a previous existence.

BUFFALO: I love the rain. Oops. I think people know that already. If I hear thunder a-rollin', I strip off , jump out the window and get rollin' in it.

BIRD: Cos you was a hippo in a previous existence?

BUFFALO: No, McDummy, cos I'm a BUFFALO, remember? D'uh!

BIRD: Coarse. Right, now where were we? Ah, yes. Number eight, the last one. OK, um, when I die I want to be buried in my back garden by the Trumpet Vine where I have sat for many an afternoon contemplating my life and happiness.

BUFFALO: When I die, I want to be catapulted nekkid from a circus cannon into the Empire State. No, wait, I want to be catapulted nekkid FROM the top of the Empire State towards the Hudson.

BIRD: Wow. I'd sure like to see that. Dude, I promise you now if I can make that happen, I WILL.

BUFFALO: Thanks, dude. Oh, dude.

BIRD: Yes, dude?

BUFFALO: Do you really wear socks in bed?

BIRD: Yep.

BUFFALO: Rawk'n'roll.

BIRD: Just how many knobs have you got?

BUFFALO: Well, at the last count...

COMING SOON: MORE 8 ME-ME's

If you would like YOUR 8 Me-Me's to be posted on THIS blog, please send them to birdandbuffalotails@hotmail.com

THIS POST HAS BEEN SCRUTINIZED BY THE UPTIGHT JERKOFFS EMPORIUM OF DECENCY KEEP IT BLAND ALLIANCE AND HAS BEEN PASSED SUITABLE FOR VIEWERS OVER THE AGE OF FIVE AND THREE-QUARTERS