THREE-WAY, WAY-HEY SKY PEE

BIRD: Wo bist Sie, Buff?

BUFFALO: Hang on, Birdy, I got Fifi on.

BIRD: Okey, doke. Let’s do a three-way.

BUFFALO: Comin’ right up. You still there, Fifi?

FIFI: I’m here.

BIRD: Hi, Fifi! How’s things?

FIFI: Cogito ergo sum.

BIRD: How’d you like my picture?

FIFI: For a long time I thought you were holding a revolver, until Kooky told me it was a microphone.

BIRD: It is a revolver.

FIFI: Oh.

BUFFALO: Have you seen the Stephen Colbert video yet?

BIRD: Nope. Saving it for later.

FIFI: Did he actually say that at the reporters’ conference? Or was it a spoof?

BUFFALO: It’s a miracle he’s still alive after that. Laura McBush damn near had a watermelon.

FIFI: Some of it was pretty hairy. The smile remained plastered on our golden boob's face, I suppose.

BUFFALO: He was like a pile of frozen yogurt. Probably didn’t know whether to shit, go blind or wind his wristwatch.

FIFI: How I hate that man--he spoke at Ft. Something or other, wore khaki shirt but no flight suit with codpiece this time.

BUFFALO: Ha-ha. Colbert totally handed him his ass on a platter. Uh-oh, I hear Birdy snoring. Wake up, you berk!

FIFI: Jeez, I think he’s taken French leave… Probably working on his novel.

BUFFALO: Or his dingus.

FIFI: Birdy?!

BUFFALO: Birrrrrrr-dy!

FIFI: Get Mammy Yokum to call him.

BUFFALO: Jeez, it’s 2pm already. Must get to the bank to deposit Sparky’s check.

FIFI: Oh, OK. Birdy?

BIRD: Sorry about that. Little boudoir emergency. Now where were we?

FIFI: I’m jubilating. Just found out I got on Mass Health. That means all my meds are paid for.

BUFFALO: So you have to convert to Catholicism now?

FIFI: My body left Mother Church when I was about 16. But you know what they say about the church: once we've got you your ours forever.

BIRD: Write the cheque, Momma!

BUFFALO: Arf, arf!