CHEDDAR, CHEDDAR MAN, KER-BOOM!

BIRD: Don't mention the cheese, Buff. I've had enough Cheddar to last me a lifetime.

BUFFALO: And you saw Cheddar Man, I surmise?

BIRD: The geezer who's 9,000 years old, banged up in Gough's Cave, thought to have been eaten by cannibals? Well, not exactly. He's in the Natural History Museum. But we saw the spot where he was discovered. Just before I fell arse over tit on some stalagtite shit or other.

BUFFALO: Booger! Are you OK?

BIRD: Cuts and bruises, dude. Nothing a jar or two of cider can't cure. Oh, ar!

BUFFALO: Hey, ain't that near Glastonbury and King Arfur?

BIRD: Yep. Avalon. Arfur and his missus are buried there, Al Edge Id Lee. Very spiritual roundabouts. Anyway, I divest. Dude, we've got a problem.

BUFFALO: Wassat?

BIRD: Well, it's Dotty, you see. She can't stop laffing. I thought if you had a word... Dotty! It's Buff.

BUFFALO: Oh, lummee.

DOTTY: Hi, Buff. Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: Well, hello. How's it going?

DOTTY: You're so cute. Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: You know, it's kinda dangerous laffing all the time. People have been known to die of it.

DOTTY: That's a funny way to go. Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: Are you gonna laff at everything I say?

DOTTY: Probably. Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: I kinda liked you more when you were miserable.

DOTTY: No, stop. It hurts. Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: Jeez. You sound like a hyena on Viagra.

DOTTY: Oh, Buff, that's too funny. Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: Can you just shut the fook up? You're making me feel blue.

DOTTY: Shut the fook up! Shut the fook up! Hahahahahahaha...

BUFFALO: Sparky, you got another grenade? Think I might just swallow it.

DOTTY: Might swallow it. Bwilliant! Hahahahahahaha...

KER-BOOM!

DOTTY: Hahahahahahaha...

BIRD: Buff?! Buff! Are you OK?!

TO BE CONTINUED...