Monday, September 18, 2006

BORN IN THE NIPPLE-LESS USA

SPARKY: Hey, man. Nipples. Wot are they?

BUFFALO: Well, dude, they're the little, sometimes big, round things at the end of the titty.

SPARKY: No shit! Really?

BUFFALO: Yup.

SPARKY: And wot do they look like?

BUFFALO: Well, um, sometimes like cherrys, sometimes like strawberries with a hint of elderflower.

SPARKY: Far out, man. Wonder why Cindy never had any.

BUFFALO: Cos Cindy was a friggin' doll, dude! Jeez. Sorry, Sparkers, old boy. I know you're still grievin' an' all. But I still don't understand why you woz playing with a blow-torch in your cave.

SPARKY: Not playing. Riddin' our hideout of the Charlie. One of 'em tried to abduct Cindy, man.

BUFFALO: So you hacidentally set her alight and melted her wax. Result.

SPARKY: Buffters, pliz, man, I'm hurtin' in here.

BUFFALO: Sorry, dude. So howzabout I come along to your next AA meeting?

SPARKY: Well, I'm not sure that they're ready for an auld perv like you, man. Say, you got any pictures of nipples? Kinda curious to see wot they look like.

BUFFALO: Thousands of 'em. All imported, course.

SPARKY: Lemmee see, man.

BUFFALO: Here ya go.

SPARKY: Aaaaaaaaaaa-t-choooo!

BUFFALO: Omigod! You've got a titty with nipple allergy, dude. Most hunfortunate.

SPARKY: Aaaaaaaa... aaaaaaaaaa...

BUFFALO: (closes laptop) Better leave it there, Sparkers. It might lead to convulsions.

SPARKY: Holy Ho Chi Minh shit! Does this mean I'll never enjoy a ripe nipple?

BUFFALO: Fraid so, dude. Better go get yerself another doll.

SPARKY: Life's a bitch, man.

BUFFALO: Ain't it just the way.

SPARKY: Want some more Toe Jam and cake?

BUFFALO: Sure. I'll put da kettle on.

SPARKY: Film at eleven?

BUFFALO: Arf, arf!

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