YOU'RE FIRED!

THERE ISN'T REALLY ANY NICE WAY TO SAY IT INNIT? YOU'VE FOOKED UP, FLAMMED OUT, FUDGED OFF BIG TIME & DA BOSS HAS GOTTA KICK YER SAD DERRIERE INTO TOUCH. HERE'S HOW IT HAPPENED TO SOME FRIENDS OF OURS...

BOSS #1: Ah, Damian, so glad you could make it.

ROSS: Sir Pelham.

BOSS #1: You're a fudgeweight. A total shambles. You're fired.

ROSS: Thank you, Sir Pelham.

BOSS #1: Don't worry about the blood, I'll get someone to come in later and mop it up.

ROSS: Goodbye, Sir Pelham.

BOSS #1: Here's looking at you, kid.



*************

GERALDINE: You wanted to see me, sir?

BOSS #2: No, don't sit down. You're fired.

GERALDINE: I see.

*************

BOSS #3: Rodney...

RODNEY: No, please don't. I've got a mortgage, a family and kids, a dog even...

BOSS #3: Get the **** out of my company and try not to pee yourself on the way out.

RODNEY: Is there nothing I can say to make you change your mind? I'll give 110%. 250% if you insist.

BOSS #3: (picks up phone) Security?

****************

CHERYL: You drag me in here on my coffee break. This had better be good!

BOSS #4: I don't want you any more, I never have and I never will again. So long, loser.

****************

BOSS #5: Paul, come in. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Turn around. Swing left. Swing right. Swing left again. Well, that was fun. Now shove off, will you? I'm a busy man.

***************

GARY: I should've known better.

BOSS #6: Go now.

GARY: I knew I was toast when you snubbed me at the business awareness meeting when I put a digit in the wrong place.

***************

BOSS #7: You're losing me money.

DIRK: I have consistently over performed for the last five years.

BOSS #7: For every pound you've made, we've lost two.

DIRK: Butter fingers!

******************

BOSS #8: Well, where is he?

HANSEL: He's gone.

BOSS #8: But I didn't get a chance to fire him.

HANSEL: Maybe not, but you can still go to his funeral.

BOSS #8: Nice one.

******************

SO, AS WE SAID, THERE REALLY ISN'T ANY DECENT WAY TO SAY, "HEY, BUDDY, YOU'RE A USELESS PIECE OF SHITE, DON'T DARKEN MY ANYTHING ANY MORE." BUT BIZNESS IS BIZNESS WASSUP.

COMING SOON: CHILLING TAILS FROM MORE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN HIRED THEN LOWERED

nb INSPIRED BY AN IDEA BUT IN NO WAY A COMMENTARY OR CONFLECTION UPON THE CONDUCT OF SIR ALAN OR TRUMPY POOS.