MAKING THE SUPREME EFFORT TO END SLOTH MODE

I've never heard of a circum speck, but I know what it feels like. It's like a gooey, creamy, fluffy, goopy, chunky, milky, velvety, soft, feathery, mushy, greasy, clunky, plush, ripe, gaping, longing, teasing, dribbling hole. It needs filling, feeding, caring for, deleting, shunning, turning, burning, zapping, papping, crapping on or over. One doesn’t step into the mundane, you know, it’s always there. You see these fists?  They’ve never been raised in anger.  I am a pacifist of the most distinguished cowardly order. And as for sloth mode, crack me an egg and I'll show you my stye!

 

 

AND IN UDDER NEWS:

7,700,777,090 people tweeted the word "help" yesterday. Have we got enough rescuers to go round? Well, Sherlock Holmes says... "Watson, would you mind removing your pinky from your rinky tinky winky? It's a long time till tea, what what what."

 

 

AND THE POEM THEY SAID COULD NEVER BE WRITTEN...

 

TRUE GROOF

by Birdy

 

True Groof

Is like

A swollen river
 

You never know  

When you'll need

A bucket

 

 

Film at eleven.

 

Arf, arf!

 

 

 

 

FIVE FILMS TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE

1. BAMBI - The first time interspecies love was taken seriously - "Thumper, I think I love you..."

2. DAS BOOT - For making subtitles cool again! - "Dive! Dive! Der feckin' Englischen want us get-toten, ja!"

3. LASSIE COME HOME - For giving unwanted twerps everywhere hope - arf, arf!

4. GET CARTER - Michael Caine, innit - "You''re only supposed to blow the bluddy doors off!"

5. DEBBIE DOES DORSET - Cos nobody does Dorset quite like Debbie - "So little time but still haven't blown Bournemouth. Ick!"