PRESIDENT OBAMA'S MESSAGE TO THE B&B

LAST NITE, THE RIGHT VENERABLE PREZ BARRY OBAMA SENT A POISONAL MESSAGE TO DA BIRD & BUFF & ALL WHO SAIL IN DIS EAR BLOG. HE BROKE OFF FROM A HIGHLY IMPORTANT BREKKIE WID DA TONY BLAIR DUDE TO DELIVER THIS HEARTFELT TRIBUTE TO THE GREATEST COMEDY DOUBLE ACT TO NEVER BREAK WIND AFTER A TIN OF BUFFALO ROAD APPLES:

CITIZENS OF THE WORLD, CAN WE GIVE THE BIRD & BUFFALO THE RECOGNITION THEY TRULY DESERVE FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAVE DONE TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE? YES, WE CAN.

CAN WE TRULY APPRECIATE THE SACRIFICES THE BIRD & BUFFALO HAVE MADE AND CONTINUE TO MAKE IN THE SERVICES OF GLOBAL HUMOUR AND CONSENSUAL HUMILIATION? YES, WE CAN.

CAN WE LOOK THEM BOTH HUMBLY IN THE EYE AND APOLOGISE FOR ALL OUR SHORTCOMINGS WHEN WE FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THE SUBTLE GENIUS OF THEIR GOLDEN UTTERANCES ON THE GREATEST BLOG THAT EVER LIVED? YES, WE CAN.

CAN WE, AS NATIONS, REGIONS, CITIES, TOWNS, RURAL AREAS, RAMSHACKLE SHEDS AND INDIVIDUALS WORK TOGETHER WITH THE BIRD & BUFFALO, IN SPITE OF OUR DIFFERENCES, AND INFERIOR INTELLIGENCE, CHARISMA AND SEX APPEAL, TO ALLEVIATE THE SUFFERING OF THOSE WHO WOULD RATHER LAUGH AT OLD BOB HOPE JOKES THAN FACE THE FUTURE WITH EYES WIDE OPEN, LEGS APART AND JAWS WIRED TO METAL POSTS? YES, WE CAN.

CAN WE OPEN OUR HEARTS, AND OUR WALLETS, AND DONATE OUR MORE FANCIFUL DAUGHTERS TO THE BIRD & BUFFALO FOR ALL THE GOOD THAT THEY HAVE DONE AND SHALL CONTINUE TO DO UNTIL THEY RUN OUT OF CASH OR ARE CAUGHT FOR PREVIOUS MISDEMEANOURS AND INDISCRETIONS IN FAR OFF LANDS THAT HAVE NO NAME BUT A DEEP THIRST FOR VENGEANCE AND BRUCE WILLIS FILMS WITH LOTS OF BLURWURST? YES, WE CAN.

CAN WE GIVE THE BIRD & BUFFALO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT IT AND HOW THEY WANT IT AND KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE WHILST ALL OTHERS ARE LOSING THEIRS? WELL... YES, WE CAN.

AND WHERE THE BIRD & BUFFALO ARE MET WITH CYNICISM AND DOUBT AND FEAR AND THOSE WHO TELL US THAT WE CAN'T, WE WILL RESPOND WITH THAT TIMELESS CREED THAT SUMS UP THE SPIRIT OF THE BIRD & BUFFALO'S AMAZING COMEDIC GIFT IN THREE SIMPLE WORDS: YES, WE CAN.

ARF, ARF!