Thursday, April 03, 2008

THE PROUST OUTSIDE WITHIN

BIRD MET MARCEL PROUST LAST NIGHT WHILST WALKING THE MIND. HE REMINDED HIM OF A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER AND...

BIRD: In the mirror every reader finds herself in him.

PROUST: Time passes, and little by little everything that we have spoken in falsehood becomes true.

BIRD: Regress. Regress. To recreate second nature composed of masterpieces and neurotics is merely an instrument of the mind that is not going to last, right?

PROUST: Wow. But I don't understand.

BIRD: Habit is happiness, don’t you know?

PROUST: You mean we become moral when we are unhappy.

BIRD: Of course not, you wombat. You know, I really do think final decisions communicate strength within the cruelties of enchantments and powers which serve unhappiness and other inedible delights, don’t you?

PROUST: Didn’t I say something like that once?

BIRD: Don't be silly, what I said was profound. How vain you are!

PROUST: It’s just we do not succeed in changing things according to our desire, but gradually our desire changes.

BIRD: Pardon my French, but that's just bollocks. But grief has not been quite himself of late.

PROUST: You've gone too far now. What the hell do you mean by that?

BIRD: Nothing. Keep your toupee on. It's just you are not the person I saw a moment ago. In fact, I do believe you’re not a person. You don’t look like a person and with all those words shrouding you I fail to see how you could possibly inhabit your person in any other way but as a non-person.

PROUST: If you're referring to the past…

BIRD: It's painful to the end. Yes, I know. When did you become the non-entity you were yesterday, today, forever, hm? Never wavering.

PROUST: You know what, Birdy? F**K YOU!

(telephone rings)

BIRD: Yes, Audrey, I know. Touchy fooker, innie? Put Dale on, would ya? Cheers!

THE PROUST OUTSIDE WITHIN by The Bird & Buffalo is now available in all disreputable bookshops and massage parlours.

COMING SOON - PROUST IN HIS OWN WURST: A MAN ON THE EDGE OF XYLOPHILIA by The Bird & Buffalo (XXX + 1 rated)

1 comment:

Nonnie Augustine said...

Brilliantly done, old chaps, or should I say vieux hommes?